Life Skills

We all feel we are the center of our universe. It is hard to see ourselves. We feel that the world revolves around us. We think everyone else is wrong. We all complain about the rest of the world. Actually, we are all neither always right nor always perfect. We see the world through a picture that we have painted. We are all different. And, it is okay.

Sometimes when we are angry we want to blame someone else and to get even because it is hard to think of ourselves as being wrong. We need to know ourselves and accept responsibility for our actions. Actually, how we feel is how we feel, but how we act when we feel a particular way is a learned response. We cannot shoot someone or fight with someone just because we feel we want to resolve our own uncomfortable feelings. If someone was angry with you or your child, would you want them to shoot you or shoot your child? There are better ways to resolve issues.

Let’s stop blaming the world or other people for our problems. We are each responsible for ourselves, our feelings and our actions. Remember, how we feel is how we feel. What we do about it can be different. When you or your child are angry, stop and think about it before you act. Speak to someone, like a counselor, about what you feel and what would be an appropriate response.

If we look at ourselves and other people as not being right or wrong, just being different, it will give us a new outlook. Everyone feels he is right. We all have beliefs that we follow. What feels right for me may be different for you. Being right is not the same as following the laws and rules. If you break a rule or law, there will be consequences. There are also mores. Mores determine, in our society, what is considered moral and ethical behavior and may be different in different areas of the country or in different religions and definitely in other countries.

The feeling of being right is following our beliefs, mores and our conscience. When we meet someone we feel is wrong, they may be following their own beliefs and mores. It is best not to argue or belittle them. Instead, understand that person believes he is right. Listen to his point of view, ask questions, discuss and come to an agreement or agree to have different points of view. It is okay. Not everyone needs to agree.

Let’s change the world to be a kinder and more peaceful place and let it begin with each of us. Feel free to respond and let me know what you think or share an issue that you may have. I care about you all.

We are all unique. Our brains are unique. My theory about the brain is that it is made up of pieces, like puzzle pieces. There are thousands of possible puzzle pieces that we could have. None of us have them all. We all get a few hundred, more or less.

Everyone has different pieces. I got a few more of the math pieces. I am good in math. I only got one small spelling piece. I had a terrible time spelling when I was in school. I had to figure out a way to learn to spell. The computer is wonderful, it fixes all of my spelling errors. I also got the analytical pieces, but I did not get the social pieces. I spent years studying other people and taking personal development courses to learn how to speak to other people. So, depending on the pieces that we get, that makes us who we are. We are all very different, not better or worse and neither right nor wrong, just different. Some things are easy for us to learn or just come to us naturally. Other things are harder to learn or may even be impossible to learn.

Our children are like that. They are all different. If we understand what pieces they have, we will know where to put our energy to help them grow and develop and become happy and productive human beings. Think about that for a minute. What pieces did your children get? Now, what if we focus on their good pieces and encourage them to use their gifts. Start early to explore those gifts and help them to develop their gifts. What if we really understood what pieces they did not get? Could we be more patient in teaching what they need to know? Look at our children as "not having those pieces" rather than looking at them as being smart, stupid, right or wrong. Then guide with understanding, patience and love and do not criticize or ridicule for the pieces they did not get.

Our significant other probably has very different pieces than we have. We are attracted to people that have different pieces so that together we have the most pieces. When I understood this, I became more patient and understanding. My husband has different pieces and does things differently. But, he also can do things that I cannot do and I can do things that he cannot do. I guess this is the way it is supposed to be. By understanding the puzzle pieces, I felt better about myself and I felt better about other people. I understood that we do not all have the same pieces and that we are very different and it is okay. We are not perfect, but we are good enough. I understood that my husband and I had different pieces so that together we could accomplish more.

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